Cinema & Television

Aug.28,2012

Vibe

The fourth primary colour, and an exceptionally brilliant one (hence the now-familiar term ‘vibrant’), that was popular up until the mid 1930s, when it was aggressively marketed out of existence by the Technicolor corporation whose 3-strip colour film process was unable to reproduce it. After the global success of Technicolor Hollywood films such as The Wizard of Oz, Gone with the Wind, and Sir Henry Drummond’s epic King of King of Kings, countries around the world scrambled to remove any traces of vibe from their homes, so as to make them look “more like the movies”. The only country to retain vibe in some form was the unimpressed France, which still claims to hold the world’s only collection of vibe-based paintings and plant-life. When any non-French person requests to view these artefacts however, they get all sniffy and pretend they don’t understand.

Apr.25,2012

Just Shoot Me

2004 documentary film in which film-maker and political crusader Buxton Hunt took a critical look at American gun culture, examining the effect that assault weapons have on the human body by launching on a strict 30-day regime of shooting himself in the face every morning with a pistol purchased from a high street store. Initially planned as a feature, the film eventually caused quite a storm in the shorts competition at Cannes.

Mar.11,2012

Chad Thomas

The most acclaimed child-actor of all time, at the age of two Chad Thomas had starred in no less than eleven films, earning two Best Actor Oscars and nine nominations. A critical backlash inevitably ensued, and after the box office flops of Chad Thomas Shits his Nappies and Cries a Lot and Chad Thomas Tries to Walk But Can’t Even Stand Up Properly, it was apparent that the audience now shared the opinion of reviewers that he was in fact “just playing himself”.

Sep.26,2011

The Dancing Henry Guide to… Horror Films

For all of you who have ever wondered how the horror genre came to be one of the most enduringly popular in film history, how it forged and then constantly reinvented its own mythology, how it adapted itself to political and economic pressures, and why it is that the scantily-dressed heroine always insists on investigating the ominous noises in the basement, then we bring you this: the Dancing Henry Guide to Horror Films, and the answer to all your questions. Except that last one. No one knows that.

The roots of the horror genre are in the creepy silent classics made by German film-makers in the early 1920s which were deeply influenced by expressionist art. To better portray the deranged worlds of their stories, geometric shadows would be painted directly on to backgrounds, and sets would be constructed with peculiar angles and sharp corners jutting forcefully into the film …

Orno Walberg

After sweeping the Academy Awards with his famed 1943 movie masterpiece Civilian Harry (see About the Almanac for his connection to Dancing Henry founder Sir Henry Drummond), film director Orno Walberg became the stuff of film legend when every one of his subsequent efforts was subjected to extensive interference and re-cutting by AOK studios, resulting in a string of some of the messiest, shoddiest films ever released. Walberg spoke frequently and eloquently about his struggles with the studio, and critics speculated that he was responsible for some of the finest lost masterpieces in cinema history. However, after Walberg’s death in 1981, the extent to which he had mythologised his own career became known for the first time when AOK Home Video released a boxed set of all of his films with the missing footage reinserted. Fans of the maverick director were somewhat disconcerted to …

Graham Alexanderson

Legendary film thespian who came to prominence in the 2010s during the heyday of “motion capture” technology. In 2018 he won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for his role as an armchair in Melbank House. The performance still stands up as one of remarkable poise and stillness, although eagle eyed fans have pointed out that precisely 57 minutes and 6 seconds into the blu-ray disc of the film it is possible to observe the armchair twitching slightly and scratching its bum.